by D!ck

Police  up  and  down  the  country  have re-opened a number of unsolved
murder  and  suspected  suicide  cases  after a breakthrough was made by
D!crosoft  using  their  latest AI computer "Deep Thrift".  The machine,
capable  of  scanning,  correlating,  extrapolating  and linking several
hundred times faster than the average human, has discovered a pattern in
the  case  reports  that  has many senior officials believing that a new
serial killer has been on the rampage since 1972.

Within  minutes  of  being  activated,  Deep Thrift spotted a pattern in
fully  two-dozen  cases  that  were either unsolved or had been ruled as
suicide.

"All  of the cases have one thing in common", Mr.Sknom of D!crosoft told
us, "without exception the body was found by a man out walking his dog".

This  leads  police  to believe that the crimes have been committed by a
single  perpetrator,  who retrieves his dog from a secluded spot near to
where  the  offence  took  place,  and  then notifies the author- ities,
claming  to  have  made  his gruesome discovery while "walking his dog".
The  dog in question has not been identified, but it is believed by many
officers  that  the  offender  takes  one  from  any nearby property and
replaces it afterwards.

Police  have  asked  people  to  be  alert and keep an eye out for a man
walking  his  dog, and to be especially vigilant in parks, woodlands and
on  beaches,  all  of  which have featured largely in the murders so far
committed.

"Please  do not approach this man", Dtv.Superintendent Bolt said, "He is
exteremely  dangerous and should not be tackled alone, and his dog might
bite  too if excited.  Please find a policeman and tell him immediately,
or you can ring the incident room on 999".

While  the police are quick to stress that it is unlikely he will strike
again  now that he has been identified, they nevertheless want people to
avoid  walking in woods and parks, and near the sea, just as a matter of
precaution until this man is apprehended.

"Stay home and lock your doors," said DS Bolt, "Just to be safe".


end